Dean Graziosi Weekly Wisdom #153 - When Negativity Becomes Destructive

Every week now Dean keeps touching in on something that I feel personally connected to. This week is no different, I have some friends that say a lot of negative things all the time and it gets pretty depressing pretty quickly. I find that the easiest and best way to help pull someone out of that is to help them with something. Something small, like picking up the dry cleaners, cook dinner so they won't have to, take the trash out. The little things to matter and it makes someone thinks that your were thinking of them. Always the little things. Have a great week everyone.

Dean, Am lovin your awareness of others( even when its toxic)and sensitivity to help others! Just a couple tricks you might try at next years dinner get-to-gether: pray over the food, everyone must participate- this sets the tone of the atmosphere. Then, have some old-fashioned musicals playing in the background(South Pacific is a great one, has actual song called "HappyTalk". Perhaps the Italian restautant would accomodate you with some Opera
music(in Italian of course)! Well, gotta check out the houses now.. Stay Positive and Successful DG family!

Dean your messages always encourge me more than the last. Your right about the negativity. I thought I would share the info about R.E. Wholesaling with my best friend, whose always positive. Her reply was, what makes you think people pay you a fee for matching them up? I told her that I think out of the box and see the glass half full and I Believe in myself. So she thinks I'm wasting my time. When we are hanging out I do not discuss it with her or anyone for that matter. Only like minded people.

I recall when I managed a women's homeless shelter. So, I keep that thought in my head because, I am very close at being in that situation right now. With $13 left in my savings...Now, I look at that as being my magical number to get the ball rolling. Even if I need to stand on the corner and sell candy or cupcakes. I know how much those ladies struggled to get out of there situations. This keeps me on the straight and narrow. For I know sometimes I find the negative stuff trying to seep in and I remind myself that there is no place for a pity party here. Keep moving and rebuke the devil.

Not to worry I have set my goal list up mental, spiritual, physical, career, social etc...
Its in my nature to do small things for people when I can. If its no more than reading to someone or buying a mug or a trinket and fill it nd then wrap it up real nice.

I love listening to Joel O. He is so down to earth. Heartwarming with his messages. Well thats how I see him. Currently, I am reading The Magic of Believing again, and to follow The Strangest Secret and The Go Getter.
I CAN DO THIS!!!

I am thankful to have the ability to read your books and gain the knowledge to get this R.E. stuff down and get my first deal before the year is out...Thanks again Dean.

Much Love & Many Blessings

BobbieS

Hi, Dean I like this video blog. Negative voices don't help anyone succeed. I don't want to hear negative voices.I will try to help a friend enjoy a better life. That way I will hear less complaints about life.

I agree with you 100%. If you have the time and energy YES, help those less fortunate then yourself. But also be careful in that. There are a few who likt to take advantage of the help. Also if you do not have the time then donate to a local teacher supply center or salvation army, USO, hospitol...they all have links where you can go and volunteer money instead of time. But if you can do it in person, it will be one of the best memories you will ever have. And anytime you feel down, think back. You will feel better about yourself.

Thanks Dean

Dean,
I appreciate your weekly wisdom and the DG family supporters. I never post any comments about myself because I don't want to be negative, since I have had so many tragedies and losses in my life. I was in tears listening to you, especially when you mentioned the loss of a child and your Thanksgiving plans. Forgive me for rambling as I recall and try to write about my feelings. I would like to give you a brief history of some of my struggles in life. I have experienced almost unbearable stress and pain. Stress and pain is universal, no matter the source of the pain. Some people cannot deal with their stress or pain and try avoidance instead using drugs, alcohol and other addictive, destructive behaviors to numb the pain or silence the truth. I am a 56 year old disabled veteran dealing with my post-traumatic stress, anxiety and major depressive disorder. As a divorced mother of two children and four grand-children, my life had been a daily challenge to just get out of bed every morning, and many days I didn't even bother. During my most difficult time several family members and my oldest daughter had to come to live with me to rescue me from myself and provide the help I needed. I was that dysfunctional. I was also overwhelmed with bad credit and debt, because I no longer cared about my finances at the time. I lost my MS home in Hurricane Katrina while still on active duty in CA, and just recently lost the land due to past due taxes; I'm basically a homeless vet determined to survive against all odds. My passion and ultimate real estate goal is to help other homeless veterans with housing issues and share my personal experiences and vast military-medical expertise with the veterans medical-disability and benefits process. Besides all the negativity in my life, "I am still here", and I am a student of yours. I bought your books, the AFF website, the RBBP course, and the success academy. For some reason I still believe I will succeed and now have a purpose to "still be here". My youngest daughter, at the age of 25, and mother of a 3-month old infant, was murdered by her boyfriend, the father of her child. All of my grand-parents are deceased, both of my parents are deceased, just recently lost my mother and my oldest sister, my youngest sister has had five strokes and is disabled, my only brother is currently being treated for prostate cancer. I have completely isolated myself without family or friends to help me because I am not the same person I used to be, as a very successful Army Nurse Officer with a busy work and social life. I am now responsible for raising my deceased daughter's child. She lost her mother and her father, who is incarcerated for the murder of her mother, no other grandparents involved. It seems as if life had abandoned her and I, and I could not rationalize losing my daughter or her child being left all alone in this world without her parents. I am the only mother she has ever known and she has no father figure, as I am very protective of her, I have chosen to remain single. What would seem like a overwhelming burden of grief for anyone to endure, trying to raise her alone with my own need for help is really a "blessing" in disguise. Had she not been placed in my life, I would have tried to end my life a long time ago, because I couldn't find any reason to continue living such a depressed and painful daily existence. She is my "miracle" child-the center of my joy; a very loving, happy, smart, and outgoing child-my purpose for living and achieving. Every holiday had became a sad memorial day, never a celebration. My deceased daughter was born on Mother's Day and murdered a week before Thanksgiving. Because of my severe grief and depression, I lost my career status, my standard of living well without any financial hardships, and social life, etc. The strangest thing is..I truly need a lot of help with my bad credit and bills; I need to own a home to live in to raise my child in a safe environment. Besides all my own grief, it troubles me to see other people in need. I want to help every person I can. If I only have $20 and someone needs it, I will give it to them, as long as I have met my child's needs first. I have been trying to help people all my life, in my career as a RN, the military or a concerned citizen. It is hard to explain how wonderful it feels to help someone else in need, expecting nothing in return but a smile or thank you. I am always giving, and somehow, it just all comes back from somewhere else. A veteran casually said he loved my baseball cap and I just took it off, gave it to him and apologized that I had already worn it, the expression on his face was priceless, and we simply shared a smile that day. If I knew his address I would have sent him a new one. Now that I have been through my stress and pain and lived through the experience, I have the strength and clarity to know my purpose in life, to help other people. I will succeed in achieving my goals, not just for the money but for the resources to help other people, and the satisfaction of fulfilling my purpose in life. HELPING OTHERS really helps take the focus off of our problems and no matter how bad the situation seems, you will find someone else in a worse situation. All of my life, it seems that whenever I complained about anything, someone was always there to remind me how blessed I truly am. Money is not always the answer to every circumstance. Let's ask Dr Murray who was paid $150,000 a month to take care of only one patient, Michael Jackson, a pop icon. Was that money worth being the Dr on duty when Micheal Jackson died? WOW, major stress!!

"Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty"-Psalms 91:1.

"And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus"-Phil 4:7. GOD Bless, Kathy

Dean,

One of the things I leaned from very young is that Life never gives us more than we can handle. The situation can be on the negative or on the positive. It just happens that this time we are talking about the negative side.

Said in a different way you said it: There will be always someone worst off than me. That’s a fact, and my duty in life is to get as good as or better than that person ahead of me and keep going.

And that’s the way I see it.

Al

Dean
Whenever I feel down and stress I go for a walk and always see someone more badly off than me. Sometime I might see a homeless person or a person with one or no arms. My father used to say to us “when other are down on you I can help but when you are down on yourself it's hard for me to help you". He'd say never get down on yourself; rely on parts of the Serenity Pray "Lord give the strength and courage to change the thing I can change and the wisdom to know the difference". He would always say fix the things you can and if you can't don't worry about it. He would always say if you want to be successful in something hang out with people who are successful in what you are interested. Not with people who are negative and trying to bring you down. This might not make much sense I trying to sneak this in between breaks.
V/R
RonBrown

All I have to do is read the posts to this weeks weekly wisdom. Dean, I made an edit to my post just in case you missed it on page one.

My heart goes out to all who are posting. God be with all of you.

Dean,

The commentary in this video is very important, and is often the primary reason people fail to enjoy their lives. One thing I always try and repeat is "This too shall pass", as it reminds me that good or bad (it is only our judgment, since there is only "what is"), are both temporary. We can give much to others - a smile, a simple acknowledgment, helping someone across the street, or bigger things like gifts of time or money or talent - since giving is the fuel of the universe. Avoiding the negative commentary from the presstitutes of the lamestream media is also good, and especially since so many watch the local news right before sleep, so that negative garbage "marinates" all night! We must create positive tapes in our mind, have positive expectations, and recognize that all of life is energy, so if we give out negative energy, we will receive it back and attract negative people and events. Happily, the reverse is also true, so a consistent positive vibration will attract that which we desire to us. It is not what happens to us or around us that matters, but rather what happens IN us . . . that determines the quality of our lives. We each have value, and that is given to us by the Creator to share with others. Thanks for this week's video!

Jim

inspirational message you have given us. If we are thinking of others we can not concentrate on ourselves. That is the key...put others first, ourselves last and our heavenly Father will put us first. My favorite saying is , "We will never get all we want, but we will get all we expect."

I was delighted to hear your blog today. Just yesterday, I gave the Sunday talk at my church. The title was: "It ain't broke". On a spiritual level we give lots of lip service to how perfect God is and that God is in everything, but then turn around and judge everything as broken - find someone(s) to blame and sometimes (righteously) try to fix it. My question is "Who died and appointed us God?" What right have I got go judge everyone else wrong - or broken? We are all in this world together - a chain only as strong as its weakest link. We don't cut our hand off when it spills a glass of milk. Why do we demonize each other when appearances are not in our favor. We will not see a healthy economy until we get a healthy consciousness. We MUST stop thinking of everything as broken. We MUST fuel the fire of economic and social health - not disease. It takes some work to change our thinking; we've been playing the blame game all our lives - but if we don't exercise (our choice of thought)we will become weak and sickly. I for one am now committed to seeing perfection all around me and your blog is just an example of that perfection. Thank you.

Hi Dean:

You are right, negativity is rampant everywhere.

See people everyday who are so stressed out. Hold a door for someone, they smile. Someone drops something in a supermarket, pick it up. If someone falls, call 911. Everything helps. People will smile, it stops the stress.

On my TV show, I talk about stupid stuff that happens, that turns out to be funny. I laughed most of the show last week. We all go through our stuff. Some days just laugh. Also, touch on topics that make a person's life better. Everyone has fun.

Kathy Wensel - All About Freedom

Hi Dean:

Smile, laugh out loud.

Negativity is running rampant everywhere.

There is alot of times out there where we can help. Someone trips on the street, if you can help fine, if not call 911. When someone drops something at the supermarket, pick it up. They will smile. Hold a door that is not automatic.

There are some really stupid things that we see and hear, that make us laugh. Fun, everyday. Just laugh. and look toward the future. Stay positive everyone.

Kathy Wensel - All About Freedom TV Show

Dean has helped more people than you ever will by giving people the tools to help themselves. Knowledge is POWER, that is why Dean's training costs so much and is not FREE. A person who has everything given to them will ultimately have nothing because they have not understood the sacrifice that is made to enjoy the fruits of labor.
What have you done? All I see is someone who made a waste of space on this site with a comment that is useless.
You can blame others, or you can take responsibility for your OWN life. YOU have a CHOICE

RENinja

THOUGHTS become THINGS!
We are instructed how to think from the Holy Bible...
Whatever things are pure, lovely, of good report, THINK on these things, Phil 4:8.

Doing little things for neighbors or friends is good. We are too focused on ourselves. Getting around the positive people in my church helps tremendously with my attitude:) Also, you can donate, starting at $20, a meal for a needy family here...
www.FortyFeedsaFamily.com

Dean, thanks so much! I wish your blog was called DAILY Wisdom...lol. Big fan of Tony Robbins and Pastor Joel Olstein:) GOD BLESS!

Its easy to get caught up in it for sure. Our Pastor tells us to take a break from the media if your caught in negativity and spend some time with the Lord counting your blessings.
Your spot on with spending some time with those less fortunate, gives one a new perspective.

Thanks for the reminder, Jeff & Ronda

You never know how your words, your actions and your attitude effects those around you. Everyone has problems of their own - they don't need another load of careless negativity piled on top. We get into a habit of grouching and complaining - half the time we really don't even realize we are doing it. And it's very easy to respond to negativity with MORE negativity!!

I will never be a Pollyanna - it's just not my nature. But, I make an effort to NOT inflict my my worry, my fears and negativity on other people. And, I've noticed an amazing thing...when I carry on a cheerful, uplifting conversation, when I maintain a thankful attitude regardless of the circumstances...I am happier!!

Thanks, Dean, for the reminder. Blessings to you.

I used to help a friend of mine who was a quad and he always had a smile and good word. I used to tell myself if he has such a great outlook what do I have to complain about.he unfortunately passed away last year but when im feeling down I can still look back. thanks Dean

We have to remember that this is not a political forum and anytime I see this as such, I will easily exit myself. Dean made reference to the fact that we continue to blame others for our downfall and not ourselves. Many jobs that are lost today in some cases are as a result of our employers and their greed. This should not stop us from moving forward. Dean has no boss, but himself and is making it, we need to do the same. The opportunities we have available to us today is because of the present economy. Where is the positive in all of us. We talk about positivity, yet we are bashing others and the government. "Politics Should Not Live On This Site." Now back to the business of REI.

every mule thinks he has the heaviest load

Dean, as I was listening to your blog, I was thinking, "Gee, this sounds a lot like Joel Osteen." Then, all of a sudden, you mentioned Joel. I thought, Hmmm, no coincidence there. Further, years ago I wrote Tony Robbins and got a personal reply. It wasn't a staff replying for Tony or a form letter. I was impressed. Bottom line...those who have success have a lot of the same advice to share. Thank you for all you share and for the positive advice. - John

It wasn't about Real Estate. Really?

Then how can one make offers when one is down, in a depression or a blue funk?

Your piece of Wisdom today was a whole lot less expensive than pills and psychiatrists.

And as for me, once again I wondered this morning about how I will get back on the boards. I asked myself again, "If not Real Estate, then what?"

However, not until I watched you, and related to your open honest methods of facing life did the "meanies" leave me.

It is late in the afternoon, about the time when those even in the worst depression are being lifted because it is too late to face the World.

And I feel great, I can see tomorrow, and I thank you again for your great outlook and guidance.

I love you Dean.

Gentle Ben

stature by one cubit?

Why should the children of God fear want, when we behold the very birds of the air do not go unprovided? Moreover, what possible good can this anxiety, this diffidence procure them? Almighty God gives life and growth, which you cannot do with all your solicitude, however intensely you think. Apollo may plant, Paul may water, but God alone can give the increase. 1 Cor. iii. 6. Of how much greater consequence is it then to love and serve Him, and to live for Him alone!
Thanks Dean. I now have 5 rentals and my business is doing well. Thanks to you, SML Properties have given me new & different "worries". Your talents are definitely appreciated here!

Hi Dean,I think maybe the visit with your friends has hit a nerve with you. Remember,you are living the good life-possibly they're not,but they don't want to whine about it. I admire your attempt to 'turn it around',but as they say,"Old habits are hard to break.!!" Just maybe,because of your visit,they will stop to think about your attitude and WHAT you were trying to say/do,..and this might cause them to reflect that poissibly things might seem better if they CHANGE THEIR PERSPECTIVE. Maybe,you could follow up with a phone call to one of your friends and let them know about your blog,and do they still feel AS negative as they did when you were there,or has something changed for them. It's worth a shot,just to answer the quwstion. Let us know what happened,if you do! Talk soon,June K

HELLO ALL IN THE DG FAMILY:

I Recently am posting in this week's weekly wisdom video, i realized just like dean and all in this family environment,that negativity does dampen your mood and outlook. as dean mentioned in the video, sometimes our perception of our world tends to tip the scale of our balanced life in the direction less desire-able. i say this,so that i may follow with an observation i made.... the comments,videos and posts. Thinking and knowing that it is essentially our first steps and diligence in our ambitions that sways away negativity. I am blessed to be working, and not only working but in corporate america, in the City of New York,NY. i have yet to go down to the park where the protestors are, but i do work for a security company that over sees the interest of one of their most important clients. one of those clients being a major financial institution. i see that being in the middle sort to say is a tricky situation. any moment i can be on the other side of the fence. looking in, i can not blame anyone but myself, for not persuing my goal and career of choice being that of a real estate investor, and developer,(excuse my spelling if it isn't correct, i am a bit tired while writing this) i see my own delay in obtaining my goal and career of choice, becuase although i have a positive outlook,my immediate sorroundings are less than wonderful and rosey to say the least. i was trying to make those near and dear to me happy and change their outlooks to that similiar to my own.but i can no longer let this be an excuse i use, becuase it is through example,advice and guidance wether we are the person to others or vice versa who helps us along the way. that ultimatly brings this re-newable, rejuvinating energy to motivates us. excuse my ramble but my point in what i am mentioning is that, we can use the excuses over and over again or we can take confidence in ourselves and in our ambitions to seek things through to the end. we all have it in us to succeed and achieve our dreams, we just have to be balanced, fair, and ethical in how we conduct ourselves.... i thank the diligince and positive energy of the DG FAMILY AND DEAN for bringing me back on track"
-all the tools we ever need are in our disposal at a moments will, it is up to us to pick up the tool and put it into greatest of use for not only us, but those we come in contact with,stay blessed and never stressed.-"

Great video Dean...I know first hand how easy it is to fall into the negativity trap, because I have been there myself a lot lately..but like I myself have always been saying, no matter how bad or how hard you think you have it, there is somebody out there who has it much worse. When I am around people who are complaining and being stressed and mad about the small things in life, I say think about someone who just got the bad news that they just lost a loved one, like a mother or father who has just been told that their child, who went to fight in Iraq, will never be coming home...THOSE thoughts will really put things into perspective for anyone..thanks again Dean

Hi Dean, Thanks for being right there and on time. "What the World needs now is Love Sweet Love" Remember that song? Taking your own stress and and turning it around for the good of others seems to be the only way to come out of our own distress. I am definitely taking your advise and getting the focus off myself, and crying the blues.Somehow bringing joy or hope to someone else in need helps to uplift our own depraved spirits. God certainly has it right, doesn't he? It wasn't just an order but he knew what helps us to bring us out of our own despair. I'm reading a book I came across at my friends house so that I could fall asleep since there was no TV. What a Blessing! It's called Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude by Napoleon Hill and W. Clement Stone. I think God is telling me something! Thanks so much for not fearing to share your faith! Ilove ya,Kathy H.

Now days it seems so much easier to just flow with the Negative in Life. I know for myself who has had a lot of hard times and worked 2-3 jobs at once just to get by and still got no where in life.
Then this opportunity comes along and it almost seems to good to be true, almost like I am undeserving of this NEW life I could have. That makes you have self doubt.
I am coming up on 60 days now and still trying to close a deal, but I am NOT giving up and I am so determined that its driving me crazy. In a good way!! I had to get away from the other negative people and surroundings that was in my life that I allowed to keep me at the bottom.
I don't like to give up on nothing or anyone for that matter, but there comes a time in your life when you have to make that decision.
I am going to do this and be successful for a better life for me and my kids.

Lisa Calhoun