Grief can destroy your life

Our youngest son was told he had cancer on April 3, 2011. With in 1 week he want to stage 4 and he died on February 6, 2012 at 11:45 PM. My husband has been disabled since 1982. Jerry has lived in the apartment in our house for 12 years so when I worked days he could be here for John and when he worked nights, I was here. I quit work and took early Social Security to spend as much time with Jerry as I could. He did not want to die in a hospital so hospice helped us care for him at home.
When he died, his wife of 5 years said she could not live in the house where he died. She moved out and left her 2 teenagers here. Jerry was in the process of adopting them when he got to sick.
I thought I was doing ok, but we were taking care of Alex and Nick, my husband had to have another heart surgery, his polio has gotten so bad that he can hardly do anything for himself any more. On top of that, I was trying to learn how to do real estate.
I got to the point where all I wanted to do was sleep. I no longer cared if I could learn enough to be able enjoy what is left of our lives and teach the rest of our kids enough to be able to have the ability to enjoy life themselves.
A friend finally had a talking to me. She reminded me that by greiving so long and giving up on life, it was just like giving up on all Jerry believed in. I know that I will always look for Jerry to tell him something that I think he will get a kick out of. I also know that he is with God. He told us that he loved us and that he would see us later the day he died.
I know that I will have to start all over, but I also know that is what Jerry would want. He would tell me to shake it off and forget that I was 65. I would never be old enough to give up. That was the kind of man he was.
I am adding a picture of Jerry and his dog Herc taken last July. He was a very special man. At his furneral and reception, so many people showed up that we ran out of food. Everyone had a story of how he helped them when they needed help. For Jerry, if no other reason, my husband and I need to start living again.
I know that you probably are asking why I wrote this. I am hoping that if any of you are going through something like this, you will think about what I said. I know you will have to make an effort to live again and no one can do it for you, but maybe this will give you something to think about.
Theresa (Sue) Walker