Weekly Wisdom #254 - Leopards Changing Spots

I have a significant fear of speaking to people on the phone if I don't know them. I was terrified of speaking to realtors, cash buyers, sellers, etc. I took the 3 day investing course and was certain that I would fail as a result of my fear. But a need to change my life for the better, to make my kids proud, all of that helped me press through and I have just completed my first deal. I've grown so much through the process and now have the confidence that I have enough knowledge to be successful in investing, yet I know that the learning has only just begun. Thanks Dean!

I learned years ago to say what's on my mind, and only going in to battle when I know I'm right. I'm Still working on a agent to work with. I went last week to a house in pre foreclosure They did or the husband understood that I was trying to help them The wife said she would rather foreclose then except my offer, even though is would put $111k in their pocket, they want over the ARV price or nothing.... getting brave enough to go door knocking.

You are so amazing. I've never seen anyone quite like you. The way you make sure those who can't afford your training are able to just buy a book and get on your website and still learn everything. I'm so stuck right now because I don't feel 'ready'. I need to get over that so bad and just dig in. I'm in a great place right now for buying houses, it's like an orchard with a lot of ripe fruit. I just need to take advantage. Thanks for the periodic jump start. Why do you care so much Dean? I Love ya for it!

Hi Dean,

I felt like you were talking directly to me in this video.

I have been told by family and friends that real estate is a good investment, but I just haven't broken through yet, and it's mainly because of all the future worries I think I'm going to have (stuff needing to be fixed, confrontations with people, worries about overpaying for repairs or not getting rent money).

I like very much your idea of attaching pain to inaction. I think that will be super helpful for me in the coming months. You are the first person, I believe, that has convinced me of how worthwhile this endeavor really is. Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom.

Sincerely,

Dr. Richard Abdelkerim

I find even though you may dislike confrontations you have to do whats right or just plain get run over in life or loose out.I came from a Dad who alway like to fight and if he couldnt fight he would dream up a fight, I hate to see anyone argue( sp) or just fight like him , I hate it to this day.But Ieve also have had to learn to stand up for what is right or get run over in life and that I cant stand either, I love peace and have a good time with very good people with good morals and standards that want to do good in all they do, cheers, Jim

Thanks Dean for the advice. I knew about it but sometimes you need somebody to remind you what you already know. I will keep working on my fears.

PLEASE, Send information regarding, "Tax Lien Property."

I PURCHASED THE PACKET AND HAVE NEVER RECEIVED A
"UP Date." ON NEW TAX TIEN listings.

Will you please advise me as to what to do to
obtain a new list

Thank You.
I am not allowed to attend Dean Grassioi presentation in Salinas in October.

Ilene

Hi Dean,

I was a stay at home mom for 20 years when my 20 year old son confronted me with the question “why don’t you go back to school to get your degree?” He said this after I encouraged him to finish college while he was still recuperating from surgery with two quarters remaining before the May graduation. And from the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice he was now returning the favor.

I looked at him with disbelief, thinking where did this question coming from? And gave him several excuses, before he finally stopped the conversation by saying “that’s what I thought” and walked away. Oh the challenge was on, at least for the moment.

I reluctantly called the college, scheduled an appointment to meet with an advisor, met with an advisor, put together my schedule, got the necessary finances to pay for everything, and waited patiently for the last day to drop all my classes before incurring a loss. That was my plan, until I got distracted and missed the deadline. And because I refused to pay any penalties after missing the deadline, I became a full time student re-enrolled in college in August 2005.

My daughter coached me on what to expect in college. She also went shopping with me and picked out what she thought I should wear. I felt like a deer in headlights.

I signed up for six classes that totaled 21 credit hours, namely because my advisor told me I could do it. I forgot to mention to her that I didn't know anything about computers except where the on button was on the desktop computer I had at home.

I graduated from college in 2007. I got through with a lot of prayers, encouragement, study labs and help from teachers. I also told myself that quitting was not an option (and in my mind it wasn't an option). I got a job three months later in the health field, which is also my current job. I'm a direct care worker.

I am afraid to quit my current job, because I feel it validates my voice and gives me the power and confidence to do things that I normally wouldn't do, or couldn't do (such as voice my opposition when I strongly disagree with someone; financially help family members; pursue a career in real estate).

I need to quit my current job, because I am tired a lot from working third shift. I need medication to sleep. I can’t concentrate on other things after work. I am told there is no room for advancement from my current position. It's hard to get days off. And, I spend little time with my family.

The thing I plan to work on changing, to turn my association of not quitting my job around, and to make it something I am excited about is posting reminders around my house that focus on the positives of quitting.

Quitting my job means I get to work out in the morning. I get to go to sleep at night. I get to stop taking certain medications. I can visit family more often. I can challenge myself more in real estate. I can spend more quality time with my husband. I can have the kind of life I want to have.

Thank you Dean and your team for all that you do.

Thank you Dean for this week's weekly wisdom. I totally understand what you are talking about and I actually said the same thing to myself about becoming more proactive in my life. I guess what I'm afraid of is investing all my time and energy and ending up failing. I started to become doubtful. I want to change that and be confident in the decisions I make.

We all have something we're afraid of confronting. I still avoid personal confrontations. Like you, I avoid emails and phone calls if I know there will be a confrontation. I don't like it!! However, I got over that in the REI world. I guess mostly because I know I may never have any contact with that person again whereas in personal life you will. It was not easy talking to a RE agent or a seller in the beginning but that ends after the first few conversations. It got easier and easier. Now I have to work on the personal side.

Thank you Dean!

I am a new 'Fan' and am finding everything here very interesting and very credible.

As far as the posting for the things I am avoiding is always paperwork....until the last minute. I am going to attach happiness to getting the paperwork necessary done immediately, on time, or even before necessary so I can be a happier more sane person.

One of my biggest fears is being an aggressive conversation starter. Asking questions and getting my name out there. I have taken the first step by joining and couple of real estate investment groups and my big one is joining a local Toastmaster group to work on my fears. I know the inaction is what is keeping me from being financially successful. So I decided to just do it and make the change and work on being better.
One of my favorite quotes is
" Do not be afraid to give up the good to get to the great." John D Rockfeller
This is where I am right now, getting away from the good and working to make things great. Thanks to Dean and his training I am on my way!!

Everything has changed so much in the past couple of years. My biggest fear is failure. I had a great job until 2009 and wonderful plans for retirement at that time. I'm a bit uncomfortable with change but have been force to make drastic changes in my life recently. I've been unemployed since January 2013 and have worked low paid jobs; some part-time, some seasonal, since 2009. I feel like a failure.

I am trying my best to start my Real Estate Investment business but, so far, have not made any money. I'm not giving up. I did have to cut back on any luxuries I had before and am living off food stamps and unemployment. I spend about $60 a month in mailing materials (post cards) to send out to divorced homeowners or Deeds Upon Death. It's only been 3 months but not sure how long I can hang on. I have already eaten into my IRA and am considering retiring early if I can't get the business off the ground or find a job by December.

I tell myself daily, "It takes a while to get started" and "Don't give up". If I do decide to retire early, I will still keep this going. I have a bad stubborn streak that keeps me going. I just hope it starts working in my favor sooner than later. The REI club I go to once a month also keeps me grounded. Great group of people.

Thanks Dean, for your always wonderful, words of wisdom! Tackling fear is definitely hard. I'm at a place where I know I must change but I haven't mustered up the full courage to do it yet. I'll get there.

I keep getting excited about the possibilities for a more secure financial future through real estate. I have two of your books. I listen to your Weekly Wisdom videos. Then my perceived reality crashes in and I think, "Nah.. I could never make this work. I have no money. The odds are against me. I have little spare time." So I drift away from even reading the emails. I stop watching the Weekly Wisdom videos. I settle back into the rut that I despise. "This is something that 'other people' can succeed at."

Then I think of all the good I could accomplish for my family members and loved ones, and I think of all the charitable needs I could contribute to if I just had the means (not to mention getting my own debts taken care of). So I think again, "Well, maybe I'll win the lottery." Well, it could happen, but I'm not holding my breath. Then another email comes from you, Dean, and the subject line says simply, "John?" And you've got me hooked again. I want this time to be different. I don't want to keep repeating the same pattern of excitement then fear.

Okay, one foot in front of the other. Take one step (afraid or not). Then take another. On my way, I hope.

I have decided to fight the good fight of faith everyday because it's the righteous thing to do

I'm not going to list the things I dislike, but would like to link this Weekly Wisdom with a previous one; the one about what we have between our ears. We first have to defeat our fears, our myths, our preconceived ideas and then analyse our dislikes to turn them into passions.

Long time ago a friend of mine used to say: "The only regrets in life are what you don't do. You don't lose anything in asking, in trying.

With this thought in mind, what we have to do is to step into action, to go for it, looking for the pleasure of obtaining results.

Great Dean. This messages are as a slap on the face. but we need it. Thank you.

Bert

Mr Dean
Being in the situation that I'm in;I took a chance on your course, but as my bad luck continues, I've tried making deals without credit or money and nothing works. I've requested to be a bird dog and again nothing.
Being a disabled vet(and once homeless)I want to better myself. Myself and one other person managed to obtain a foreclosure with a double wide trailer. We were going to try to trade the old trailer in for a new trailer. As usual bad luck again. The trailer has no title and is not suitable for remodel due to extreme molding.The property was to be MY home not one to sell or flip or whatever. This one was to be mine so I knew I wouldn't be homeless again.
I'm sure your system works, but I don't seem to be able to get it to work for me.

If you have any ideas on how I can get a new trailer let me know. I'm open to ALL ideas.

I am the same way. I would rather avoid it. It is just not comfortable for me to do. I realize also that I would have learned more and been perhaps more successful if I spoke my mind without the fear of also being wrong and feeling stupid.

Hi Everyone!

Thank you Dean for framing pain in that way.

I have been having a difficult time approaching private lenders because I am embarrassed and uneasy to be asking for money in a new country (where I do not have any credit). You are right. If I don't "get over myself" I am going to lose big! Not just the property I want to buy right now, but it would have a ripple effect on my whole plan of becoming a successful real estate investor! I WILL contact EVERY lender I can find!

That bit of advice is BETTER than a laptop!

Thanks again!

I heard you loud and clear, thanks Dean for this weekly wisdom, what I needed to hear right now.

Thanks dean for putting your neck on the line for us because not to many successful people talk about there fears. And i admire that! I've been fearful of not knowing the unknown in what to do after i get an offer and not sure how to close a deal but you always help us hold faith in your education/ business methods!

I must change the way I think. For example: over the past few weeks I have realized that I am putting more focus on the job than I should. I work very hard all day and when I get home I am too tired to do much. I need to put more focus on real estate. I must stop spending all my energy on a job that is keeping me broke and start focusing on what needs to be done for my business. Really? the worst that could happen is I will get fired, and then I will have all my time to work on real estate. So inaction will keep me falling farther into debt. Action will get me out of that job, out of debt and allow me to start living life on my terms. Thanks for getting me to think about this.
Amanda

Hi Dean. Thanks for sharing your challenges as well as your victories with us.

I am really identifying with some of the posts here in the area of being afraid to fail. I think my biggest fear is that I may face that failure alone. I"ve been hoping for a cheerleader when I really need a coach!

What I need to do to change this is to stop dipping my toe in the proverbial water and just jump in with both feet. I should imagine the pleasure of being successful at real estate rather than imagining the pain of defeat.

Working on this immediately! Thanks again Dean
Maria

Hey Dean,
Thanks for sharing your heart with us! I find my biggest fear is not grasping or failing to understand what others seem to get naturally. It just seems to click for them but for me it just kind of bounces off.

We have gone through 4 realtors and have still not completed our first deal. We have had numerous deals in the pipeline only to have realtors back out in the middle of negotiating or appear to not have submitted the offer or be embarrassed at our offer even when it was by the numbers. Now we are starting all over again looking for the right realtor and finding the properties. I like to see progress and know I have it down. It took a lot to get me to start making offers in the first place. Well time to get back on the bike, in the saddle or take another trip around the mountain. I just need to get it! Thanks Dean for listening.
Robert

Enjoyed your video. Thanks for sharing your moments. I am working right now so not much time to post... working is a good thing hahaha

To be honest, I've been away for a little bit when it comes to the weekly wisdoms; my wife and I are working so hard 24/7 with real estate, and also going to school and having a part time job with a 7-month old baby. Things can get a little overwhelming! But we have been blessed with patience and perseverance that led us to close our first deal, and we are very very close of our second right now. Personally, I would like to improve my attitude after dealing with a hard realtor/seller; sometimes I let it affect me for a couple of hours after hanging up the phone, and those are precious hours! I will be focusing on bouncing right back and working even with more focus to prove myself I can do it. Thank you for sharing this!

Many things have changed for me. I'm a single mom, not by choice but by circumstance. I'm not shy and I'm not afraid of confrontation. In fact I embrace it. I was talking to the cab driver that drove me to my appointment this week. I was telling her that I had made one big mistake in my life renting and not purchasing my own home. I told her how I was too busy working a few jobs at a time. I was working so hard to get my children everything they needed and wanted. I never gave myself the time to think things over. My only thoughts were to work, pay bills, spend a lot of money, and work some more. Then two years ago I got sick. I went to my doctor and I was diagnosed with Vertigo. I was feeling so sick and dizzy that I could hardly function. I was so use to always working and being on the go. Vertigo made me slow down. Now, I only have a part time job. My life is a mess. I have to admit that God is an expert at making a blessing out of a mess. By the grace of God I am surviving this tough time. Now my Vertigo is under control and I'm searching for a full time job. Having Vertigo now seems like a blessing in disguise because of my illness I had time to slow down and think. Now, I have made the decision, that once I get a full time job, I will invest in Real Estate and never rent again. Renting is for suckers. I made my landlord richer and I got poorer. I was once a fool but never again, will I fall into this suckers trap. God is good and I thank him for using you to teach me some wisdom. Thank you Dean and God bless you.

Confrontation is not a problem for me because I think about it as being the same as haggling to get a good deal and I'm very good at it and therefore great at counseling. However; when it comes to money... Working hard for your money, being great at budgeting and keeping at least 6 months of monthly expenses saved in case of job loss, etc., creates a fear of risk of losing what you worked so hard for when investing. And, even though I don’t watch the news or TV, I still hear about all the masses that lost thousands on the stock market, their homes when the bubble burst and their 401k’s by devaluation and job loss… All this makes it extremely difficult to invest even though you know dam well that the US dollar is devaluating faster than the interest you earn and even though I know dam well that you and others like you are making money hand over fist with real estate.

I know the biblical parable of the sower but I am still at a loss of overcoming the fear of risk. How do you get past and beyond this fear of risk barrier?

I know sometime I stray away from returning calls to sellers that I know I need to make. But from the inspiration I recieve from you and the great people on this site I know I can become better. Thanks alot for all you do!