Dean Graziosi ALL NEW Video Blog #64 -The Danger of saying "Yes"

I find there has to be a balance between many aspects in my life. My situation does not limit how I spend time with family, friends, GOD, and the DG family. It how we spend what we have that makes everything worthwhile.

My problem is that I am too self critical and must overcome this. It's work in progress which is a good thing.

We all have 24/7 and must find the happy median in our daily lives.

I think we should eliminate the word "NO" and instead think of "HOW" can we .... (you fill in the blank)

I know all too well what it means to be a "yes" person. I spent so many years putting everyone else first in my life. And that's not a bad thing WITH BOUNDARIES, but I didn't know how to set them (until I also read the book you mentioned. very eye-opening). Thank you so much for this blog Dean. A person truly has to find a balance to keep from burning out, and to be fulfilled themself. I think sometimes the same people that can't say no end up enabling others to NOT fulfill themselves either. There's a fine line.

You and REI and setting goals/boundaries have actually HELPED me help others MORE by giving me more time and more resources. Thank you again for that.

Rina

P.S. One thing I love about DG.com is everybody gives, and we all benefit from each other. And nobody takes advantage. What a great place to be.

As I was growing up everyone expected me to do as I was told no questions and my duty to my family and the church I belonged to was to put others above myself with out question. After I was married with young children I met my best friend now and she never said yes to anyone out of the feeling of duty. She asked me onetime why I always agreed to do everything for everyone and made myself to tired to enjoy life? I said it was my duty and she told me that I was entitled to say no to people if it was going to take away from my own time , that I was entitled to take a break and do things just for me , not what the kids wanted , not what my hubby wanted. But sometimes you need to do what you want to.

I had never thought that I was entitled to me time, or my wants in life. But with her guidence I have let go of the guilty feelings associated with saying NO and feel the freedom of saying yes to ME.

I am entitled to be a successful Real Estate Investor that I know I will be.

There appears to be a problem viewing the video, due to numerous interruptions. Could you kindly assist. Thanks.

Sandra

Thanks for sharing another weekly video blog with us. It is so true that life is a smorgesboard of decisions. Out plate is only so big and what we put on our plate, other things may fall off or may not be able to fit. The decisions we make today will mold and determine our tomorrow. Life has many forks in the road and as we approach the fork we have a Yes and a NO and the path we take can affect our journey. Thanks again and continued success in all you do! Believe and Achieve! - Joe

I know this has been one of my biggest problem I deal with right now. I was just thinking about this and I needed to do something about it now. I spend so much time each day lost in space trying to focus on what I need to do when I am so wrap up doing for everyone else. since read your books I have been focus on something for me now.Life is short and I do need to learn how to say "NO" to people around me as well.

Funny! It seems like you are reading my mind. So often then not we spend so much time saying yes to something that the thing we need to say yes too is the thing that doesn't get the yes.
Thanks for reminding us about this.

Great Blog for the week. I hope everyone takes action and realizes what their yes is and their no's. Love the exericse technique to keep us in check.

Thanks Dean,
Carpe Diem
Stacey

This is very true . There has to be a balance. You have to stay focused on the things that are moving you towards your goal.

I can't wait for the conference call on March 11.

Happy Investing to all !

Randy

I am always trying to make eveyone happy. I used to get very upset when that backfired on me. I would automatically say "yes" to anything I was asked to do, even when deep down I didn't feel that I should be doing what asked of me.I come from a large family and I am third in line of 9 brothers and sisers. Many times I would have to take care of sisters or my little brother. If they got mad ( like crying and throwing fits) for something they weren't aloud to be doing and I would keep them from doing it Saying "NO" (even when in danger), I would be the one to get yelled at from my parents for causing a (glitch)in the day...
Well now I have two son's and a great husband and I find myself taking care of them and not making time for me (I have spoiled them). I feel like my brain is wired to take care of others and if time permits than maybe find time for me. Now that I am writing this it sounds pretty sad..Dean has hit the nail on the head ! I need to make that list and start changing things around. I will definately try and make changes in my everyday life. It will be hard at times but what isn't hard, who ever said life was easy? It's like as soon as I start to do something I want, everyone needs or wants something.. I need to start letting them know this is ME TIME !
Thanks for the video blog Dean, Lisa

Great blog subject Dean! As usual, you get people to think. Look forward to March 11th call!

Education is not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire. --W.B. Yeats

Ginni

Great Topic for this week's blog - "Yes and No" and "Setting Boundaries." It was a good reminder for me because I use to be such a people pleaser. I always wanted everybody to like me. Actually I still do but I sincerely believe people respect you more if you do set boundaries and don't let others walk all over you.

Have a great week. Blessings - Kathy V. from CA

You always seem to know what we need. I'm always wanting to help others but sometimes I just need to say no. It's a tough thing and I'm glad you included an action step. Can't wait for March 11th conference call.
Thank you again, Dean
Cathy

Powerful message, Dean. It couldn't be more timely. Keep up the good work and looking forward to March 11!

Nailed it, Dean. BTW, I worked overtime yesterday at my job, instead of spending the holiday doing Real Estate.

So I had plans of coming home and doing RE after work. But snow was coming again to Philly, so I had to go to the store and get food. And after doing cooking, dishes, etc., I was too tired to do RE and went to bed early. Another day wasted.

But this is a new day and I am up early and will attack RE from now on. Reprioritize and recommit.

Thanks, Dean.

Dean,

I needed a reminder to set boundaries and limit my efforts to the important things. It seems we get in a rut and don't realize it. The definition of a rut is: A grave with the ends kicked out!

I am re-prioritizing my schedule and paying careful attention to the details that make a difference.

Thank you for the admonition.

Tim

I know I am always saying yes but I do work time in for reading,going out to property,set my goals. This weekend I am going out to look at properties now that the snow is off the roads. One of my goal is to buy a property in three month. I wish I can go to Dean training class but the fund are not there but I'm still moving forward. I love my DG family. Dean I will learn the word NO and put me first.

Hello DG Members,

That would be me, the people pleaser. I hear that all day long at work. I need to take some of your advice and start saying NO! I know my list of Yes is way bigger than my NO's. I got my new business cards this week and I have hooked up with a good partner. I'm just looking for the cash buyers. I'm not giving up! Some good has to come my way soon. Have a good week everyone.

Suzanne
on-my-way

I AM TRULY GREATFUL FOR YOU DEAN. YOU DO THESE WEEKLY VIDEO BLOGS WITHOUT REALLY HAVING TO DO THEM. YOU DO THEM FOR OUR BENEFIT, AND THAT TO ME IT'S COMPLETE SELFLESSNESS. I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT SOMETIMES WHEN I FEEL LIKE QUITTING, I GO TO THE VIDEO BLOGS AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING IN THERE THAT YOU SAY, ONE LITTLE THING THAT TURNS MY WHOLE ATTITUDE AROUND AND GETS RID OF THE NEGATIVITY AND SO I CONTINUE ON. I KNOW THAT IF I JUST CONTINUE WITH FORWARD MOTION ONE DAY IT WILL HAPPEN FOR ME.
----GOD BLESS YOU DEAN, YOU HAVE TO KNOW YOU ARE AFFECTING HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE. YOU SHOULD FEEL WARM INSIDE IN YOUR HEART. PEOPLE TRULY LOVE YOU,
AND NOTHING YOU DO IS IN VAIN.
WARMEST REGARDS TO YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL FAMILY,
ANGEL.

Hi Kind DG Folks,

As a therapist who works with many clients at death's door, I can truly say that when we don't treat ourselves as our own best friend, it takes away from our abilities to treat our loved ones as kindly and well as we would wish to. A mother who never gives herself a treat and a pat on the back for a job well done is often giving herself internal messages of doubt and self depreciation that will often lead to breast cancer issues or other poor health implications. Often the Yes is given to perceived obligations that take away from our sense of self worth. Dean's many comments in his books of the need to clarify our goals and our paths to success lend wisdom to the argument that we need to care for our own priorities in order to move ahead successfully with our lives and take better care of our loved ones and the world. It is not selfishness but rather self respect.

Love and Light

dragonmama