Step One - Purging Old Memories to Start Anew

Well, I'm doing it. I decided, I should just suck it up and jump in. I've gotten super overwhelmed a few dozen times in the last week, and even had a few tears of frustration, but not with the process. More with myself of being such a procrastinator.

I am a divorced mother of 3 beautiful kids. My husband and I were too different.. he is quiet, reserved, a homebody. I'm talkative, and love to go out and enjoy the city. But we were good for about 5 years before it started going south. Our oldest was about 6 months old and I was pregnant with our second when we decided to buy a home in 2003. I was temp-ing as a receptionist at a title company at the time, and had gotten to know a lot of the Realtors pretty well. We found a good deal on a cute starter, and moved in. I got more involved in the day-to-day at the title company, learned how to do HUD's and title searches and find legal descriptions, etc. and realized real estate was what I wanted to do. So, I took the classes, studied hard, and aced the license exam.

The next year, preggo with baby #3, my mom was having some $$ problems. She'd bought a really nice mobile home a few years ago and had it set up at Southfork, the nicest park in Texas.. but she couldnt keep up the payments. So I assumed the mortgage for her and leased it out. Now I had two properties.

In 2005, while driving around my family's old neighborhood, looking for properties for a client, I discovered my grandparents house was for sale. My grandpa sold it in 1999 after 40 years, because he was worried Dallas would be 'bombed' in Y2K so he moved them up to Carrollton. smh well, I cant even describe how it felt being able to walk into the house I grew up in, my mom grew up in.. my whole extended family used to visit every week at least.. it was overwhelming. I decided right then that I would buy it back, no matter what. Move in, flip a few houses to get the $$ to rehab it, make it all pretty and new again, and move my ailing grandmother back to her home. My rose colored glasses only showed me the Amway stickers from 1972 in the cabinet, my Aunts 'Suzy loves Ricky' scribblings from 1965 in the closet, and the tree we used to climb up and hide in for hours... it didnt show me the plumbing problems or foundation issues. :-/ I moved my family over, and put some renters in our former house.

In 2007, I decided I was ready to try a flip. I found a beautiful two story 4 bedroom 3 living area etc, oh it was gorgeous at like 60% of its value of $180k. Needed about $15k of work but my husbands a handyman so he could do most of it, and my dad was an electrician so we had that covered. I didn't know it yet but it turned out to be a very good thing that they were involved. About the same time we started working on the house, I lost my grandma to a heart attack. She helped my dad raise me.. her passing was a very hard time for me. Luckily he and my husband were there to help pick up the slack when I couldn't focus on the rehab. Well, what I didn't consider was the fact that the location at the time was, tho beautiful, safe and up & coming, it wasnt quite "up" yet. Most of the people who wanted to live in that suburb, already lived there. It sat on the market for about 4 months after all the work was done. I'd had some inquiries but no solid offers. I didn't know about alternative ways to market it, or that I could refinance to get out of the HML. The interest on the HML was insane and it was eating up all my profit.

Then, five months after I lost my grandma... my dad was taken from me. It was so sudden and he was my best friend... I couldn't deal. I just shut down. I went into a fog and didn't find my way out of it for about 6 months. By then it was too late. My credit had plunged, so no refi for the rehab. It went to foreclosure.. I'd had to evict the tenant from my 2nd property right before my dad passed and it never dawned on me to replace them, so I lost that one too. My first home followed about 5 months later, and last, about a year after I lost my grandma and dad, I lost the family home.

The mortgages were out of control and I wasn't seasoned enough to try different ways of thinking to fix it. My kids and I moved into a rental down the street so they could stay in their school (which was my school & my moms). My husband and I split shortly after.. and I had quit my office job when I lost my dad so I took a job bartending at my dad's old hangout. He managed the place for years and we spent a lot of time there together, but the owner didnt have a clue what to do with the place once he was gone so she shut down about 10 months later.

It's been a very bumpy road and I have tried many different avenues to regain my old lifestyle, but I've mostly just stuck to caring for the kids and using my Realtors license to sell 4-5 houses a year to keep up with the rent. My ex does not help financially although he does spend almost every weekend with the kids, so it has been a struggle.

I've had extreme insomnia for about 5 years now, and about a week ago I saw the infomercial for Deans seminar. It struck me that in 2005, I ordered his "think a little different" program. I was one of those who didn't really read all of it.. it seemed kind of kitchy and from my work at the title company didnt seem legal in Texas. So I put the box off in a closet, stuck it in a box and moved it around with us every time we moved, but never looked at it again. Well I am so glad Im a packrat, because watching the infomercial at 4 am, I felt the need to go back over the books. Twenty minutes later I found the dusty box with an empty VHS box, an unopened VHS box, and two audio CDs but no books. Ten minutes after that, I found the books in another dusty box. And I started reading. I got so inspired.. I wanted more information. I found these forums and engrossed myself in the posts. Since then, I have probably spent at least 7 hours a day reading... the people and their stories, their tips and strategies, it's all I want to do with my time!

But, reading won't get me anywhere. So, a few days ago, I started brainstorming. My landlord is an investor. He owns over 30 properties in a 4 mile radius. I have tried to work for him before but he is very loyal to his agent and would take any deals I offered him to his guy and I was cut out of any commission. Well, with all of the ideas I got from the forums, I had several light-bulb moments. I have set up meetings with investors similar to my landlord who want to acquire more properties. I created my website, placed ads, made lists, and I feel like finally, I am ready to pull myself out of this rut I've been in and get back to the best me I can be. Its been a tough road but I can see the light at the end and I'm ready to get there. I will keep visiting this site for inspiration and new ideas, and maybe some new contacts and partners. I'm researching the laws regarding an active Realtor and how that could affect my path, but I just know this is my time. I will be successful and I will give my kids the life I've always wanted for them.

So here's to wrapping up step one. One of the side jobs I've done the last few years for extra income is freelance writing. I ghost-write and pen articles, e-books and websites, which is why this post is so long. But the whole point of a blog is to get everything off your chest and out of your mind so you can move on... now that I've done that, it's on to step two! At this point, even a small step is a step.. if I can increase productivity as a Realtor, that'll be a huge milestone. That's my step two! I'll be back with an update soon!