OfflineThere is a prison that has an inmate population in the billions. It’s a prison without walls, without barbed wire, without guards and without any physical barrier. But it is the most effective prison in the whole world. Few escape it, but those who do find real and lasting freedom.
That prison is in our minds. It is a prison that holds back our initiative, our talent, our ability to express ourselves and, most of all, it holds back the fulfillment of our full potential as human beings.
That prison is fear. Our lives today are controlled by fear more than we know. Fear controls the choices we make, our actions, our habits and even our destinies. Fear has become one of the greatest threats to humanity in this day in its many forms. Terrorism has become the pinnacle of fear worldwide. Recent events in the world have shown how fear can drive even those that are powerful to behave desperately and inhumanely. But the effect of fear on our personal lives is more damaging that any terrorist can ever hope to achieve. Fear of life prevents most of us from living.
Fear of life? Yes. “Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity. They seem to be more afraid of life than death.” This observation was made by James F. Bymes.
Overcoming fear – the many faces of fear
In its extremes, fear in our personal lives causes anxiety and phobias. For people with such illnesses the prison of fear can seem like a death sentence. Their lives may be totally controlled by fear, making life totally unenjoyable and everyday tasks a real struggle. Fortunately, this is not the most common manifestation of fear. The far more destructive form of fear is one that we have come to accept because it is so common.
For example, I remember very clearly how when I was in my first year at university I met a lot of fellow students that were spreading fear everywhere they went. They would say how difficult the first year of natural science studies was and how badly people were failing the course. They had all the statistics of how many people failed last year and the year before that. They’d say things like “50 people failed that course last year.” What they didn’t tell you was that 400 people passed the same course last year.
All the seven years I was at university, were the same. Every year there were people speaking doom and failure. Often, it showed in the results they got. They were the same people struggling to pass. I, and many others like me, got through it farely unscathed. We chose to see the 90 percent that passed and not the 10 percent that failed.
Overcoming fear – fear can stop you from progressing
There are those of you out there with brilliant business ideas. What holds you back is fear. You think about all the statistics of how many businesses fail every year, or what your friends and family will think of you if you quit your job to pursue your dreams. The fear of not being able to pay your bills, fear of getting fired, fear of starting over and the fear of not having a job title all hold you back. It is fear that keeps most of us in jobs we do not enjoy and, sometimes, that don’t even meet our financial needs.
The fear of taking risks is one that few people are able to overcome. Risk is the potential harm that may arise from some present process or from some future event. In every area of life risk-taking is a necessary thing. If you propose marriage to someone you have to take the risk that they may say no. If you are in a race you have to take the risk that you may lose miserably. If you want to live life to its fullest you have to take the risk of failure. As Dorothy Thompson said: “Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live.”
Fear will paralyse you if you do not deal with it. It will absolutely stop you from living a life that you desire. Recognise it. Conquer it. Eleanor Roosevelt’s advice is that “you gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”
Overcoming fear – there’s nothing to fear but fear itself
I’m sure you have had an experience in the past when you really feared something. After doing it how did you feel. Silly? Stupid? The feeling is often one of “that wasn’t so hard after all. I don’t know what I was afraid of.” Trying to fight fear is like trying to fight the dark. You can’t do it. The way to get rid of darkness is to bring in the light. The way to get rid of your fears is to conquer them. “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it... that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear” ( Dale Carnegie).
Overcoming fear – you can do it today
Go ahead and start that business you want to start. Go ahead and study what you really want to study. Go ahead and become a musician, poet, artist, fashion designer or whatever else you want to do. Sure you might fail, but you might succeed too. Take the risk today and conquer your fears. Do you want to look back years from now and think I could have, I might have, and I should have. That is a sad way to live your life.
Overcoming fear – the futility of playing it safe
Remember that no matter how “safe” you play it one fate awaits us all. That is death. Whether you take a risk or not you will die. So of what benefit is it to you to be under the yoke of fear and live a life that is way below your potential? Use your life wisely. Free your mind from fear and worry and go for it.
You are all you can be. Go on and be it.
By Key Leadership skills
"Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison you cannot smell nor taste nor touch. A prison, for your mind."
Unlike that movie though, our prison is fear and negativity. You can see it when you turn on the TV, when you work for someone else, when bill collectors call you during dinner to scream about $35 they should've received 2 months ago. You can't sleep at night because you worry so much about money it consumes your thoughts. If you sleep, you're awake 3 hours early for the same reason. You can spread it by yelling at your kids when they ask for another toy you can't afford, then they're hurt and can't understand why you're so mad all the time now. They go to school, knowing you're stressed out, not knowing why, and their grades slip. Teachers on your back, just makes you madder.
Life always has problems, dilemmas, and disasters, and so will anything you try. You have to see the world for what it really is, systems of control, interwoven to make the "free-est people in all of human history" slaves to their own poverty, servants of pop culture, and true believers of anything the Associated Press prints or broadcasts, no matter how false or inaccurate it proves to be later on.
I like the analogy Dean uses about getting your child to start walking. If he falls on his butt the 1st time, do you give up and say, "Well I guess little Timmy isn't going to walk!" No, of course not! You thank your lucky stars he ONLY landed on his butt, let him catch his breath, then stand him back up again.
This is how we must all approach REI if we're ever going to actually do it. You have to be SO SICK of how things are, and hate how miserable you are so much your only option is to change for the better. If you're scared to fall, put a pillow in your pants, but get out there and walk! You MUST either accept the life pop culture and your past choices have made for you, or you must become a "5%" person, and break free of all of it.
In The Matrix movie, there's a downpour outside, but the only lightning is when Neo takes the Red Pill. Are you going to be the lightning in the downpour of what is clearly America's 2nd Great Depression? Will you stick with your job, your bills, and never look up from your desk again? Will you still be talking about the money you could've made in REI 5 years from now? Will you be financially solvent 5 years from now without REI? How much worse must it get before you decide to make it better?
Paul: "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear's path, and only I will remain."
Duke Leto: "I'll miss the sea, but a person needs new experiences. They jar something deep inside, allowing him to grow. Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken." - "Dune."
The only way to overcome fear is to attack it and love it.
I don't often like to admit I'm afraid. And I "shouldn't" be afraid to admit the I feel fear. Fear is a part of everyday life that shows up in insidious ways. It's subtle - it doesn't jump up and down and announce itself. It creeps below the surface. And when I find myself acting out in frustration or anger or blame, and then afterwards, I get quiet with myself, and try to really "feel" into whatever I'm experiencing, it's usually FEAR lurking under the surface.
And today is one of those days that I feel the fear in a big way. And I went looking for inspiration to help move me out of my funk, and this blog really resonated with me.
I've spent most of my life dodging fear; not admitting it; resisting it; and even denying it. But, I feel that I want to explore the idea of embracing it. And perhaps, finding the value that it serves me. And if I know it has value, I won't feel the need to duck or hide when fear shows up. Instead, I can allow myself the pleasure of knowing that what stands in front of me is an opportunity to stretch myself; to expand; to really live.
I'm not saying I'm there at this moment, but taking this opportunity to just share my thoughts helps. So, thanks for sharing your thoughts, and thanks for letting me share mine.
Wendy
I'm either going to be wildly successful at real estate OR die trying! (I choose wildly successful!)
Was a very good article. And not just for real estate.
Thanks Scarlson.
RENinja
"Remember, success is a journey, not a destination.
Have faith in your ability."
Bruce Lee
You must have been reading my mind. Thank You,thank you,thank you !!! I needed to hear this.
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Thanks
Trina
Trina
KNOWLEDGE will allow you to overcome fear
Mike
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I've been seeing a lot of newbies on here like myself and afraid of moving forward. Fear of screwing up, getting stuck with properties I can't move, losing my house and everything. This what I hear from folks who aren't doing this and this is their reasoning. Its very difficult to shut out that noise, that voice. I felt that this article deserved to be bumped back up. It was very timely and helpful for me.
Rachael
I believe Dr. Norman Vincent Peale talked about the mind being the most effective prison that one could not escape easily.
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These are all great posts regarding fear. As I work with different students in the Success Academy and helping them work through their fears of taking action. What I've seen work the very best is simply - DON'T THINK - JUST DO! We are all human and tend to overthink things, worry and become blocked by our own thoughts. Stop thinking and get out there and "do it", take action. When people take action and ATTACK their fears, 99.9% of the time I hear "Karen, it wasn't that bad and I did it!" AND they always tell me that they are so happy they finally crossed that line and conquered their fear because now it will be much easier the second time around. Typically, we'll stop and think "Why did I let my fear hold me back for so long? I should have done this a long time ago."
If you are hesitating - don't. If you are scared - take action. JUST DO IT!
good luck!
Karen
KEEP MOVING FORWARD
"If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse."
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If you would like the chance to work with me or one of my fellow real estate investor coaches and our advanced training programs, give us a call anytime to see if Dean's Real Estate Success Academy and our customized curriculum is a fit for you. Call us at 1-877-219-1474 ext. 125