How to make you offer seem reasonable?

How to make you offer seem reasonable?

Trying to make my first offer, and I've ran into some trouble.

"Hi, I'm responding to your offer. You suggested the price of 169900, so i'm going to counter with 120,000, which is a 30% discount. I am also going to ask that you give me 60 days to think about it. Also, you will have to sign a paper authorizing me to sell your house to any random person at any time in those 60 days for a 10,000 dollar fee. And I'm not going to guarantee I will buy the home, and I am only going to give you a tiny, $ 100.00 deposit guarantee the transaction. Thank you.

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